Mom

Sometimes, late at night, after I have watched the sun go down in brilliant colors over the nearest set of mountains, the first star comes out. It’s dusk. Twilight. And there is the lonely, first bright star of the evening.

I look at it and ask, “Mom, where are you and what do you need to tell me?” My next thought is that I can’t believe you’re gone. I still can’t believe that you no longer live on this earth with us. And then I wait for your answer.

Sometimes I understand what I need to know next. Sometimes she just laughs at my wonderings. But she’s always there with the first star that I see. Star light, Star bright.

I’m sad that she’s not so near that I can touch her. But I know she’s always there. Just a star’s touch away. Ready to guide me and answer my questions.

Why did you have to leave now? “Why not,” she answers. “It was my time and it was good.” But what about all those you left behind? “I’m still here,” she assures us. And I believe her.

She is still in our hearts. In our souls. In our beings. She is a part of us. She lives and breathes. She is here. And she is in the stars. She’s out there. She’s in here. I know it’s hard for all of us. But I also know that we have not lost her. She is us. She is here. She is love.